Let’s face it, we all have that one band that holds a special place in our heart above all the rest. No matter if you proudly proclaim your love for this band or keep your undying love a quiet, guilty pleasure, this listicle will show you exactly how you should be loving your favorite band. And if you haven’t done at least one of these… well, then you’re doing it wrong.
1. Don’t Be Afraid To Show Your Excitement
Whenever you see the band pop up on your Tumblr dashboard, make a sound resembling that of a goat. With a little bit of practice, you’ll be bleating like a pro in no time. But if you’re having a hard time getting the hang of it, try swapping the goat for another animal… like perhaps this elephant shrew.
Step it up a notch if you see the band on any device that isn’t your computer. See the band on a billboard? Goose honks. See the band on television? Full-on donkey brays.
2. Surround Yourself With The Singer’s Voice Whenever Possible
Buy a velvet blanket, pretend it’s the lead singer’s voice. Swaddle yourself in it. If you’re a fan of Fall Out Boy who thinks the band hasn’t released anything great since Take This To Your Grave, pretend the blanket is Patrick’s sideburns. Suffocate yourself in them.
3. Name A Beloved Pet After A Member
Adopt one of the most endangered species that roams this Earth. Name it after the bassist because s/he doesn’t get as much love as s/he should. Or, if you live in a cramped apartment, try getting a Neopet with your favorite band member’s name, try your best to creatively avoid using underscores or numbers, realize that it’s impossible because somebody already thought to try that combination before you did, then settle on naming it after the bassist because let’s be real, nobody named their Neopet after the bassist.*
*Does not apply to Mark Hoppus or Pete Wentz.
4. Go To A Hometown Show
Should you happen to visit said band’s hometown, arrange all of your merchandise in the shape of a pentagram. Sacrifice your favorite pair of skinny jeans to summon your favorite member.
5. There Is No Dana, Only Zuul
Don’t forget to P̞̗͔̘̥̻̖̊̍̆R̤̥̙̀A̶̔̽Ḭ̯͔̗̝̦̑̀͋̍ͫ̾̈͝S̛̗̻̪̮̺E̒͌́ͪ҉̗̙ ̠̟̠͙͕̬̂͂ͨ̎̋͐H̥͙̟̙͇̳̏͛͛ͫ̇I̧ͩ̂͒ͧ̋ͦ͆Ṃ̨́̍̋̐ͩ ̶͚̤͔͙̘̤͗̓̒͌Ṕ͙̥̟̰͈̼ͭͧͤ̀ͨ̽R҉̞͙͎A̪ͪ̾IŠͪ̓ͯ͋̚E͊͋͆̓̅ ̄͗͗͌ͩ̊H̠̳̯̊͒ͮ͟I̩͇̟̍ͮ̿̽ͮ́M͉̩̤͚ͥ̌ͪ̏ ̟̃͘P̩̭͘R̼̪͓͊ͧẠ̵͚͚̯̺̻͓Ǐ̛̹̪̺̝̮̺ͣ͋́S̪̲̬̟̠̬̍͑̂̔̆̾͝E͕ ͙̩̻̣̽ͅH̘̞̖̻͊̓Ỉ̓͂M
6. Rep The Band Wherever You Go
Buy a $2 pair of canvas sneakers from Walmart. Follow a DIY tutorial and draw your favorite album cover on the shoe. Realize halfway through that you weren’t cut out for the DIY life. This doesn’t look like a guy in a bear suit riding an actual bear. This looks like a giant pear atop a giant pile of… “SHIT!” you proclaim as you step in a puddle after deciding it was a good idea to wear these outdoors. Because you spent more than $10 between buying the shoes and the supplies and because they represent your favorite band, you are GOING to wear them no matter how awful they look. But now your socks with the guitarist’s face screenprinted on them are soaked in cheap Sharpie ink. This wasn’t how it was supposed to end. DAMN IT, the glue that was holding the soles of the shoes just washed away in the rain. Or were those your tears? Yeah, definitely your tears. Resort to spending $70 on etsy or decide to buy a ticket to a show and buy a shirt from the band directly for about $40 total instead. Pay for their gas and dinner.
7. Show your fellow fans respect
Don’t be that guy, no matter how much more or less they love the band/artist than you do.