When Pirates of the Caribbean: On Stranger Tides was released, I doubt anyone was more excited than I was at seeing the fourth installment of my favorite film franchise. By the time it ended, while I enjoyed the music, Geoffrey Rush’s performance, and Johnny Depp’s usual flapping, drunken demeanor, I wished the third had been the end. It was the perfect ending to the trilogy, you know? Sparrow singing “A Pirate’s Life for Me” to close the series just as a young Elizabeth sang it to open it seemed like a perfect, fitting finale. Alas, they ruined it with a fourth, nonsensical film (I’m still trying to figure out why Sam Claflin was even there to begin with), and so the need for a fifth and maybe even sixth was apparent. Not just for monetary purposes, but to fix what Producer Jerry Bruckheimer had clearly screwed up…and thankfully, Dead Men Tell No Tales cleaned up the disasterous fourth film WALL-E style.
Chapter 11 opens with Jughead writing alone in the dark corner of the auditorium as the Pussycats brighten the mood with a song over the loudspeakers. I have to admit, I spent most of “To Riverdale and Back Again” longing for more of Josie’s glorious mermaid braids. But homecoming’s afoot and our main characters have a dance to plan.
Everyone comes around for reunions like these, especially the now-adult alumni who want to relive their glory days. Luckily, Archie’s mom is in town just in time. Continue reading Recapping Riverdale: Chapter 11, “To Riverdale and Back Again”
Before I start the recap, let me just as one question–high schoolers don’t really have parties like this, do they? No? Just me?
OK, I admit, I was a nerd. A loner. An outcast, if you will. Much like another we know: Jughead Jones, who spends the majority of “The Lost Weekend” shielding himself from the sun and brooding. The theme of this week is control and chaos, and how they can sometimes get way out of hand. Just like those foolish preps, amirite? Continue reading Recapping Riverdale: Chapter 10, “The Lost Weekend”
Apparently, Riverdaleans consume syrup as if it’s a drug. They’re all hooked on this thing, and it isn’t even that good. Kind of like this show. I can’t stop watching. Help, I’ve fallen into a vat of maple syrup and I can’t get up.
As we learn in “La Grande Illusion,” the Blossoms made their fortune off their syrup business. Since Jason is dead, they need a new heir, and, LOL, they sure won’t give it to Cheryl, because she’s a girl and she’s crazy and this is 1850. Their extended family and “The Board” of the maple syrup company have also come to town, presumably to steal the company and/or judge. It’s hard to tell if The Board is different than the family members, because they are all Super Extra Pale and have the same red hair. Continue reading Recapping Riverdale: Chapter 9, “La Grande Illusion”
It has been a minute since the last episode of Riverdale. So long, in fact, that I forgot entirely who the Coopers were. Thank god “The Outsiders” started with a brief profile of the Cooper family–high school sweethearts married with two perfect blonde daughters. Everything went well until Polly and Jason began their forbidden romance and (gasp) got knocked up. A series of flashbacks tells us Polly was a cheerleader (wait, didn’t Alice Cooper flip almighty shit when Betty wanted to be a cheerleader?), she and Jason occasionally fought, but everything seemed to be working out when Grandma gave Jason the family engagement ring and he found out Polly was preggers. Continue reading Recapping Riverdale: Chapter 8, “The Outsiders”