Category Archives: TV Reviews

Recapping Riverdale: Chapter 11, “To Riverdale and Back Again”

Chapter 11 opens with Jughead writing alone in the dark corner of the auditorium as the Pussycats brighten the mood with a song over the loudspeakers. I have to admit, I spent most of “To Riverdale and Back Again” longing for more of Josie’s glorious mermaid braids. But homecoming’s afoot and our main characters have a dance to plan.

Everyone comes around for reunions like these, especially the now-adult alumni who want to relive their glory days. Luckily, Archie’s mom is in town just in time.  Continue reading Recapping Riverdale: Chapter 11, “To Riverdale and Back Again”

Recapping Riverdale: Chapter 10, “The Lost Weekend”

Before I start the recap, let me just as one question–high schoolers don’t really have parties like this, do they? No? Just me?

OK, I admit, I was a nerd. A loner. An outcast, if you will. Much like another we know: Jughead Jones, who spends the majority of “The Lost Weekend” shielding himself from the sun and brooding. The theme of this week is control and chaos, and how they can sometimes get way out of hand. Just like those foolish preps, amirite?  Continue reading Recapping Riverdale: Chapter 10, “The Lost Weekend”

Recapping Riverdale: Chapter 9, “La Grande Illusion”

Apparently, Riverdaleans consume syrup as if it’s a drug. They’re all hooked on this thing, and it isn’t even that good. Kind of like this show. I can’t stop watching. Help, I’ve fallen into a vat of maple syrup and I can’t get up.

As we learn in “La Grande Illusion,” the Blossoms made their fortune off their syrup business. Since Jason is dead, they need a new heir, and, LOL, they sure won’t give it to Cheryl, because she’s a girl and she’s crazy and this is 1850. Their extended family and “The Board” of the maple syrup company have also come to town, presumably to steal the company and/or judge. It’s hard to tell if The Board is different than the family members, because they are all Super Extra Pale and have the same red hair.  Continue reading Recapping Riverdale: Chapter 9, “La Grande Illusion”

Recapping Riverdale: Chapter 8, “The Outsiders”

It has been a minute since the last episode of Riverdale. So long, in fact, that I forgot entirely who the Coopers were. Thank god “The Outsiders” started with a brief profile of the Cooper family–high school sweethearts married with two perfect blonde daughters. Everything went well until Polly and Jason began their forbidden romance and (gasp) got knocked up. A series of flashbacks tells us Polly was a cheerleader (wait, didn’t Alice Cooper flip almighty shit when Betty wanted to be a cheerleader?), she and Jason occasionally fought, but everything seemed to be working out when Grandma gave Jason the family engagement ring and he found out Polly was preggers.  Continue reading Recapping Riverdale: Chapter 8, “The Outsiders”

Recapping Riverdale: Chapter 7, “In a Lonely Place”

We open inside a nightmare. Jughead has dinner with Betty and her family. Veronica attends. Jughead rises to cut the roast. It flashes to his father, passed out in a chair. The knife disappears. It’s in Archie’s back.

Jughead awakens in a sleeping bag in a cupboard under the stairs of Riverdale High. He showers in the locker room, where Archie surprises him. It’s unclear why Archie showed up to the school at this god awful time and how he found Jughead in the shower, but “In a Lonely Place” is an episode with a coolly mysterious line of logic. Like the meaning of the “S” on all of Jughead’s shirts or Veronica’s sexual preferences, Riverdale rationale remains elusive.  Continue reading Recapping Riverdale: Chapter 7, “In a Lonely Place”